By Judith Wright EdD, Bob Wright EdD
ISBN-10: 1626252572
ISBN-13: 9781626252578
Every couple fights—it’s how you struggle which may ensure the luck of your dating. This booklet teaches you to seem past what you and your accomplice struggle approximately, and observe the center concerns that undermine your relationship.
In the midst of a confrontation, many ask themselves, “What are we really fighting about?” Sound usual? because it seems, breakups and divorce don’t occur simply because struggle, they take place due to how couples struggle. during this much-needed ebook, Judith and Bob Wright—two married counselors and coaches with over thirty years of expertise assisting how one can struggle well—present their tried-and-true equipment for exploring the feelings that underlie many dating fights.
In this certain consultant, you’ll the best way to use disagreements as a chance to deepen your figuring out of your associate, carry extra intimacy to the connection, increase your bond, and very research from the conflicts and tensions that ensue among you. You’ll additionally easy methods to navigate the fifteen commonest fights have, together with “the blame game,” “dueling over dollars,” “If you actually enjoyed me, you’d…,” “told-you-so’s,” and more.
If you’re able to begin struggling with on your love, instead of opposed to it, this publication will convey you how.
Read Online or Download The Heart of the Fight: A Couple’s Guide to Fifteen Common Fights, What They Really Mean, and How They Can Bring You Closer PDF
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Extra info for The Heart of the Fight: A Couple’s Guide to Fifteen Common Fights, What They Really Mean, and How They Can Bring You Closer
Sample text
You each may have a different view, but facing these different perspectives square on can help you grapple with a major emotional roadblock and elevate the relationship. 7. ” All of a sudden you can’t stand the way your partner chews, walks, eats, or talks. Simple everyday habits bug you or even make your skin crawl. ” Almost anything can become irritating or begin to annoy or aggravate you. Look beneath these “you bug me” type fights, and you’ll start to find a lot of unexpressed upsets that have been swept under the carpet—and now you’re tripping on it.
This requires full engagement, including conflict, confrontation, and verbal combat. It also requires following certain rules of engagement that you’ll learn about throughout the book. Most people bicker and battle without knowing the rules of engagement that will help them really see what is going inside of themselves. They just want the fight to be over, or to win the fight, or to make it go away. Most relationship books and much marital and relationship advice are designed to limit conflict, full of misguided attempts to restore the lovey-dovey honeymoon phase.
If you totally avoid Told-You-So fights, you won’t assess your relative strengths and weaknesses as a team. In these fights, you may be caught in what Alfred Adler (2009) called the inferiority-superiority complex with one-up/one-down dynamics playing out between you. When you dig deeper beneath the I-told-you-so patterns, you can see the limiting beliefs and the roots of your feelings of inferiority or superiority that play out in your relationship. You can begin to shift your limiting way of thinking, feeling, and acting to affirm yourself and each other to build a stronger relationship and a better partnership.
The Heart of the Fight: A Couple’s Guide to Fifteen Common Fights, What They Really Mean, and How They Can Bring You Closer by Judith Wright EdD, Bob Wright EdD
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