By Karen Alpert
ISBN-10: 0062341626
ISBN-13: 9780062341624
Popular blogger Karen Alpert stocks her hysterical tackle the numerous "joys" of parenting—I center My Little A-Holes is filled with hilarious tales, lists, innovations and images that might make you snort so tough you are going to want you have been donning a diaper.
Read or Download I Heart My Little A-Holes: A bunch of holy-crap moments no one ever told you about parenting PDF
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Extra info for I Heart My Little A-Holes: A bunch of holy-crap moments no one ever told you about parenting
Sample text
Of course. Big bush ladies always pick the front row because they have no shame and they like to show off their shit. Well, at least she’s facing forward and I’ll be staring at her ass and not her camel toe the whole class. Anyways, you know how the gym is. It always sucks motivating to get there but you feel awesome afterwards. Yeahhh, not so much this time. But that night getting undressed, I guess I kinda sorta feel like a tiny bit better about my own bush. Even though it’s February and I haven’t groomed it in like five months, it’s not like I haven’t groomed it in, uhhh, I don’t know, forever.
You’re at the mall and baby’s hungry. Just pop out a boob and lunch is served. And formula is almost as easy. But feeding your baby baby food is basically the same thing as putting a bunch of crap in your blender and forgetting to put on the top before you flip the switch. Suddenly your kitchen looks like a fugly 1980’s sweatshirt that’s been splatter-painted with diarrhea green peas. 2. Saying mama Mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama!
And the other is in totally the opposite direction in the middle of nowhere in this suburban mall I can’t stand with stores with names like Too Cool. No, I did not make that up. It’s there and it sells a lot of shit that’s Too Crappy. But it’s her birthday so who the F am I to make her pick something else? ME: Okie-dokie, Rainforest it is. ZOEY: Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! She screams and runs around like the Tasmanian Devil for like five minutes so I’m feeling a little better now.
I Heart My Little A-Holes: A bunch of holy-crap moments no one ever told you about parenting by Karen Alpert
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